Some lessons arrive slowly. They slip in quietly, like the first light of morning or the soft thump when Peanut jumps off the couch as you get up. That’s how I learned this one.
I used to picture healing as a straight road up a hill. You put your head down, do the work, say your prayers, and one day you reach the top. But life taught me differently. Healing is more like a back road, full of twists and turns. Some days, you stumble over old hurts you thought you left behind. But knowing that helps me keep walking, even when the path gets rough.
I had one of those days not long ago. Nothing big happened—I just woke up feeling off. I was tired in a way that sleep couldn’t fix and heavy in a way that coffee couldn’t help. It felt like I was carrying something I couldn’t see or put down. I remember brushing my teeth and looking at my reflection, wondering why I felt sad again. It was the kind of day you look in the mirror and think, “I thought I was past this.”
Right there, in that quiet frustration, something settled in my heart.
Healing isn’t a straight line. Some days are up, some are down. I hold on to the promise that the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). Sometimes strength shows up in small ways—a quiet walk, a song that hits just right, a few honest words on a page. Maybe it’s your dog at your feet, a good book, or just moving your body a little. Even a favorite meal or a talk with someone who gets it can help. However you find your strength, just know you’re not walking this road alone.
On tough days, I use a simple prayer: “God, meet me where I am today. I do not have all the answers, but I trust You are with me, even when the way is rough. Give me the strength to take the next step, and let me remember I am never alone.” If prayer isn’t for you, a quiet moment of reflection can help. Take a breath, notice how you feel, and let yourself find comfort in whatever way works for you.
If you prefer a secular approach, take a few deep breaths and remind yourself, “This is a tough moment, but I’ll get through it.” You can put a hand over your heart and say, “I’m doing my best, and that’s enough,” or “It’s okay to feel what I’m feeling right now.” Mindfulness, like focusing on your breath, naming your emotions, or repeating affirmations, can help you feel calm. Try different practices—journaling, meditation, or just sitting quietly—and see what feels right for you. Healing is personal, so trust your feelings and let your approach change as you grow.
Some days you wake up strong. Other days, it feels like you’re back at square one. What matters is you keep putting one foot in front of the other. Every step shapes you, even the small ones.
I stepped outside for a moment to breathe. The air was cool and the sky was quiet. Peanut and Sissy circled my feet, almost as if they were checking on me. In that quiet, I felt God whisper something simple:
“I’m with you on the crooked days too.”
That stuck with me. It’s easy to be thankful when life is smooth, when your mind and body line up. But real growth happens on the hard days, when you show up anyway and take one more step, even if it’s slow.
If you’re facing a tough tiIf you’re in a hard season—grief, recovery, fear, burnout, or just feeling heavy—hear me: you’re not failing. You’re not broken. You’re not falling behind. healing might be messy, uneven, and meaningful all at the same time.
Many men try to tough it out and act like everything is fine, even when it’s not. But being vulnerable isn’t just a man’s issue. No matter who we are or how we identify, we all have times when it’s hard to open up or show how we really feel. Anyone can struggle with vulnerability, regardless of gender. We all feel pressure to keep things inside. But honesty is a strength. There’s courage in saying, “Today’s a hard day, but I’m still here.” Wisdom is checking in with your health, heart, and spirit before you have to.
If you’re struggling or want support outside your usual circle, even a small first step can help. Reaching out might feel overwhelming, so start simple: send a quick text to a trusted friend, or look up a helpline and send a message or make a call. You don’t need perfect words—just saying, “I’m having a hard time today,” is enough. These small steps can lead to more support when you need it. There are resources like helplines, mental health organizations such as the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), and online support groups. If you ever need immediate help, reach out to a professional or call a crisis helpline. If you’re not sure where to begin, here are a few practical check-ins and habits that might help:
– At the end of the day, ask yourself a few simple questions: How am I really feeling right now? Is there something on my mind I haven’t talked about? What do I need—rest, connection, or encouragement?
– Spend five minutes each morning or evening writing down one thing you’re grateful for and one thing you’re struggling with.
– Reach out to a friend or someone you trust, even if it’s just a short message like, “Hey, today was rough. Can I talk for a minute?”
– Set aside a weekly time to check in with a friend or small group and talk honestly, even if it’s just for a few minutes over coffee.
– Look in the mirror and tell yourself, “It’s okay not to be okay today.”
Even a few honest minutes with yourself can make a difference.
If today feels off, take a breath. Step outside and let the quiet settle around you. Let yourself be met where you are—not just at the finish line, but right in the middle of your journey. If things feel too heavy, reach out to someone you trust, whether that’s someone in your faith community, a friend, family member, therapist, or a support group that feels safe.
If you don’t have anyone nearby, there are still ways to find support. Safe online forums and communities exist where people share their experiences and encourage each other. When searching for online mental health groups, social media pages about wellbeing, or apps for support, look for spaces moderated by professionals or trained volunteers. Good communities have clear privacy policies, respectful guidelines, and ways to keep your information private. Read reviews if you can, and check if the group is linked to a reputable organization. Don’t share personal details like your full name, address, or phone number in public posts, and trust your instincts if a space doesn’t feel safe.
Local meetups, support groups at clinics or community centers, and peer groups at places of worship can also be good places to start. If you’re not sure where to turn or want professional help, mental health counselors and therapists can guide you, even if it’s just for a few sessions. Sometimes, starting with a free helpline or text line can make taking the first step easier.
If you’re not sure how to start a conversation, try something simple like, “Hey, could we talk for a few minutes? I’m having a tough day and could use a listening ear.” Sometimes, the reminder that you’re not alone comes from a friend, mentor, counselor, or even a casual chat after church. Sharing your struggles and encouragement can help you feel supported and remind others they belong too.
If you’re part of a group or small community, try opening up the conversation to others. Invite the men around you to share what they’re going through, even if it’s just a little at a time. To help everyone start, offer gentle prompts like: “What is one thing that helped you get through a tough week?” or “Is there something you’re finding challenging lately, even if it feels small?” or “What is something that brought you hope or encouragement recently?” Simple, open-ended questions like these can make it easier for people who feel hesitant to share. As you talk, remember that everyone’s story deserves respect and care. Remind each other that what’s shared in the group should stay in the group, and that honesty is safest in a space built on trust and confidentiality.
It’s also important to talk about the limits of confidentiality. Let the group know that while sharing is meant to stay private, there may be times when someone shares something serious, like threats of harm to themselves or others. In these cases, encourage group members to respond with compassion and help the person connect with support or a professional. Remind everyone that keeping someone safe matters more than keeping things secret.
When someone opens up and speaks honestly, it can encourage others to do the same. Sharing stories and struggles together builds trust and creates a space where everyone feels welcome, seen, and understood.
Progress is still progress, even if it’s slow. Setbacks don’t wipe out what you’ve already done—they’re just part of the road. If you feel like you’ve slipped or you’re back in the thick of it, remember: you’re not starting from scratch. You’re still moving, even if the path winds. And you’re not alone.
